You won't be reading this and honestly, I don't want you to. I just need a place to vent my feelings. You never told me for certain how you felt. Yes, I am talking about you of the A, B, Cs. "...love of my life, love at first sight..." I never even knew who you were referring to. I wish it were me, but like so many things with us, I was never certain. Was there even an "us" or did I dream up the whole thing? I tried cutting of contact with you completely, but was foolish enough to meet you again when I came home the last time. The most ironic thing is that despite it all, I have such a fun time when I'm out with you that I forget how upset you made me feel previously. This time though, you disappointed me. If you hadn't wanted to meet again, you should have said so and I would have understood. After all, we've moved on, you might have a new girlfriend, a busy job etc, I wouldn't have a clue. But just say so and I would have left it like that. I hate it when people say they will arrange to meet and don't do so. My bad for trusting you. This was particularly important for me. I wanted to tell you what was going to happen in the next two years, the big changes, the drastic moves; I wanted to find out what was going on in your life for I had a feeling that something wasn't right. Instead of running around three places in a night, I wanted to just sit down in one place and have a chat and a drink. I thought we could be friends still. If we'd met earlier, I think we would have made such good platonic friends. Maybe you think otherwise, I don't care to speculate anymore. I've moved on as well but wanted to touch base with you every once in a while, is that so difficult? Anyway, thanks for all the good times. Will I make a clean break this time? Time will tell. xxx Nikita | 
